Today I came one step closer to realizing a dream that I’ve had and prayed about for years. I have a scar on my stomach that has been there since birth and I’ve wanted it removed for as long as I can remember. I know some people may say that it’s no big deal and that I’ve lived it with this long why can’t I continue living with it but it’s not about the scar itself-it’s about what the scar represents. I’ve always looked at this scar as a reminder of how different I was from others and it made me feel as if I wasn’t as good as others. I looked at it as a curse trying to do things to compensate for what I felt was a hindrance to me.
But that was the problem, I was trying to compensate instead of looking to God for my direction and confidence. I truly believe that it’s because of how I viewed the scar & myself that God didn’t allow the door to open for me to have this removed before. Over the last few years I’ve gotten closer to God and allowed Him to change my view of myself. I have a better understanding that my worth is not made up of how nice my clothes are or how put together my hair and make-up is. My worth is made of up of the love of God and how I live everyday to show that love.
I’ve also thought about the Apostle Paul and how he talked about how he asked God to take away a pain he had but God reminded him that his grace was enough to endure whatever pain he had. (2 Corinthians 12:7-9). He also said that he’s learned to be content in whatever state he’s in. (Philippians 4:11-12). And if anyone has a right to make both of those statements it’s Paul. He went through a lot. First he hunted down Christians and sought to kill them but when he met Jesus he turned his life completely around and he became the hunted. But even during his time of unbelief God still cared for him. I thank God that even though I didn’t see it at the time His grace was there to help me day by day and I thank God that I realized it before it was too late.
I truly believe that this surgery will happen but above all that I believe that no matter what happens God is in control and no matter what He has my best interest at heart. That alone is enough. How about you?