I recently had surgery and I’ve been recuperating at my parents house. Both of my parents have been at work and my niece has been at school so that has left just me and the beautiful dog Cupcake at the house together. As I sit here not able to move around as much as I’m used to I watch how Cupcake spends her day. She spends her day laying around allowing people to wait on her hand and foot. She has to wait for someone to feed her, let her out to use the bathroom, play with her, pet her and she seems to be content with that.
Come to think of it it’s easy for a child to do that as well. Which is how Jesus wants us to come to Him…so why is it so easy for a child but not me?
I think it’s because the last thing we want to feel is vulnerable and needy. We seem to take it as a sign of weakness. If we’re vulnerable, if we show that we need people, if we show that we are human and have weaknesses then people might take advantage of that. And yes is a possibility. There are people who use our openness as a way to make themselves feel better but it’s not up to us to determine how people use what we give them. No we shouldn’t allow people to walk all over us but if we let a few to dictate how we interact with the majority that is giving the few power over us that they do not deserve.
So back to Cupcake. Earlier today we took a nap. I could hardly enjoy the nap because I was worried about what she was going to get into. She on the other hand couldn’t care less about what I was doing. Her main agenda “take a nap and enjoy it”. I even got up and asked if she needed to go outside. She looked at me, yawned and plopped on the floor as if to say “yeah, I’m not doing anything until I want to”. She clearly doesn’t really care about what people think of her. I, on the other hand, have an issue with making sure people see me a certain way.
Again it goes back to the vulnerability. If we present what we think people want to see we feel as if we have some control over them. NOT TRUE. The only thing we can control is our reaction to things-not even the things themselves. Almost four years ago I got fired. Obviously it wasn’t something I wanted-I mean who really wants to get fired-but that decision was out of my control. What was in my control was how I was going to deal with it. Freak out or trust that everything was going to work out. I’ll be honest my first instinct was to freak out. I had just bought a house, a still had a car payment, insurance etc. I had no idea what I was going to do but then I took a step back and saw it as the opportunity that it was. I learned a lot about myself and I continue to learn a lot about myself.
This surgery was considered elective but it was a necessary surgery. My goal with this recuperation is to learn to not only trust more in God but to allow people to show me love my offering their help. And I’d rather learn that lesson now on a voluntary basis then when God forces me to learn it. It’s always easy to retain a lesson when it’s learned on your time instead of on someone else’s time.
So I’m going to take a page out of Cupcake’s book by relishing in the love that is given to me and allow people to be there for me.