Archive | August 2016

Are you worth the ring?

16685624391_e84de79591_oI have always been fascinated by wedding rings, particularly women’s wedding rings. I like the design of them-the diamonds and the bands itself. I’m constantly looking at them on women’s fingers. My sister sometimes get irritated because I’m always taking her hand and looking at her ring. I’ve even gone onto a website and designed a ring for myself. I’m always looking at the left hand of women on television to see if they are married and if they are to see the size of their ring. On some level I’ve equated the size of the ring with the depth of someone’s love. The bigger the ring the more they are loved but as I’ve heard stories of some of these women I realize that the amount of money someone spends on you doesn’t determine the depth of their love for you.

That was even true in the bible. In the Book of Esther, King Ahasuerus showered Queen Vashti with gifts but the moment she decided to have a mind of her own and not come down to be paraded in front of his party guests, the King had her stripped of her gifts and her title to be given to another woman. Obviously that’s not love. But when the King met Esther he truly showed his love for her, not by how much he spent on her but by the respect he had for her. He listened and trusted her judgement and because of that love he righted a wrong and elevated her family to a high position in the kingdom. Here’s the thing, Esther was able to be loved in that way because she first loved herself in that way.

She had a sense of pride in who she was. She never thought herself better than anyone else but she never thought she was less than either. That’s how we should be. If we were to all think of ourselves in that way we wouldn’t feel as if someone had to “purchase” our love. We would know that by loving ourselves we would automatically show love to others and in return receive love.

As someone who hopes to be married one day coming to an understanding of what it means to get the ring is extremely important. Esther didn’t get her ring because she desired it for herself, she got the ring because she desired it for her people. Being worthy of the ring isn’t about you and you alone it’s about what the ring represents. It represents a vow between two people and God to further His kingdom.14537600144_d0f6f8ab53_q Esther understood that her position as the Queen wasn’t merely to walk around the palace looking cute. It was to do the will of God who placed her in that palace. I firmly believe that a marriage, especially a marriage that is built on the foundation of the bible should be focused on spreading God’s word. It should be strong within itself but not self-absorbed.

And as individuals we also should be strong within ourselves but not self-absorbed. Self absorption causes us to lose ourselves and others. Think about how a sponge works. If it’s dry it doesn’t pick up any water. It becomes useless. But when it’s wet it draws water toward it. It becomes useful. God did not place us here to be useless. As we live out our single lives we should strive to live it out as an honor to God. The same goes for our married lives. No matter what we do God should be able to get the glory.

Because Esther desired to please God above all else, to become worthy of His ring, The Holy Trinity, she pleased her husband, her uncle, her people and will forever be known as someone who helped save the Jewish nation.

Which ring are you trying to be worthy of? Man’s or God’s?

photo credit: <a href=”″>Wedding</a&gt; via <a href=””>photopin</a&gt; <a href=””>(license)</a&gt;

photo credit: <a href=”″>Love</a&gt; via <a href=””>photopin</a&gt; <a href=””>(license)</a&gt;

What If…


You see her everyday. She’s the one you say hello to, give a quick smile & wave and then you go about your day. She’s the one who seems to have it all together. Her clothes are always just right. Her hair is never out of place and her makeup is flawless. Her shoes match her purse and her accessories compliment her without being too gaudy. She always knows just the right thing to say and she knows all the right people. In essence she’s the epitome of the Proverbs 31 woman.

How many times have we encountered a woman who seemed to have it all together only to find out years later that her whole world was falling apart? It happens far more often than we care to admit. We hear about a situation and the first thing we say is “why didn’t she say anything” or “I never thought it would happen to her” or “that would never happen to me”.  It’s the “blame the victim” mentality-she should have spoken up and asked for help. Well maybe she did but we were all too wrapped up in our own lives to see that she was drowning.

Or maybe she didn’t feel as if she could ask for help. Women tend to have a disposition to protect instead of share. We protect our families, we protect our friends, but most of all we protect our feelings. We need to be strong so that no one will see that we are vulnerable and, heaven forbid, human. I was thinking about this at work today wondering how people would feel if they knew everything that was going on in my life or how I would feel if I knew everything about my co-workers lives.

We pick and choose what we share and with whom. We have our acquaintances that we only share surface stuff with. We have our close friends that we share more with and then we have our closest friends that we share everything with…or do we. Even with our friends that we’ve known for years we still hold something back for fear that we would be judged. We hide from ourselves and we even try to hide from God. We try to hide our fears, our insecurities, our inadequacies, and our sins. What would happen if we decided to just let ourselves be vulnerable?

There is a song by Francesca Battistelli called If We’re Honest and it speaks to just this idea. What would happen if we were honest with ourselves, others and with God? How much more fulfilling would our lives be? Jesus had his inner circle, why don’t you?