You see her everyday. She’s the one you say hello to, give a quick smile & wave and then you go about your day. She’s the one who seems to have it all together. Her clothes are always just right. Her hair is never out of place and her makeup is flawless. Her shoes match her purse and her accessories compliment her without being too gaudy. She always knows just the right thing to say and she knows all the right people. In essence she’s the epitome of the Proverbs 31 woman.
How many times have we encountered a woman who seemed to have it all together only to find out years later that her whole world was falling apart? It happens far more often than we care to admit. We hear about a situation and the first thing we say is “why didn’t she say anything” or “I never thought it would happen to her” or “that would never happen to me”. It’s the “blame the victim” mentality-she should have spoken up and asked for help. Well maybe she did but we were all too wrapped up in our own lives to see that she was drowning.
Or maybe she didn’t feel as if she could ask for help. Women tend to have a disposition to protect instead of share. We protect our families, we protect our friends, but most of all we protect our feelings. We need to be strong so that no one will see that we are vulnerable and, heaven forbid, human. I was thinking about this at work today wondering how people would feel if they knew everything that was going on in my life or how I would feel if I knew everything about my co-workers lives.
We pick and choose what we share and with whom. We have our acquaintances that we only share surface stuff with. We have our close friends that we share more with and then we have our closest friends that we share everything with…or do we. Even with our friends that we’ve known for years we still hold something back for fear that we would be judged. We hide from ourselves and we even try to hide from God. We try to hide our fears, our insecurities, our inadequacies, and our sins. What would happen if we decided to just let ourselves be vulnerable?
There is a song by Francesca Battistelli called If We’re Honest and it speaks to just this idea. What would happen if we were honest with ourselves, others and with God? How much more fulfilling would our lives be? Jesus had his inner circle, why don’t you?