I have recently started watching a Youtube channel, Ashley Empowers and I must say that I am so glad that I did. One of the series she has on her channel is called Dating With Purpose. She sits down with married couples and asks them about their relationship, how they dated with marriage in mind and how they kept their relationship pure leading up to their wedding. The first video wasn’t her interviewing a married couple but a mother and daughter speaking about their particular relationships with their husbands. I was immediately hooked and as I watched video after video I realized that they all had one thing in common – boundaries. Boundaries for them personally and for them as a couple. Those boundaries are what helped them remember what they were striving for when faced with the temptation to have sex.
I know the consequences of giving in to that temptation. You can feel disconnected from God and start thinking that you’re not good enough. That because you’ve fallen no man is going to want to be with you. That you might as well settle for something less because desiring and living for something more is too hard.
Well that’s not entirely true. Yes it’s difficult to hold onto your standards but it’s so worth it. People may think you’re crazy. People may tell you that it’s not normal to wait. People may say that as a single person you should be living it up but here’s the thing-“people” aren’t the one’s living your life and they aren’t the ones who gave you life in the first place. Holding onto your desire to live a life free of sexual sin starts long before you get into a relationship with someone and it’s not just refraining from sex.
As with a lot of things in our life, sexual desire starts in our minds. That’s why God’s word tells us to pay attention to what we hear and see. Whatever we see or hear goes into our minds and beings to shape our thoughts. If we are constantly exposing ourselves to sexually explicit music, movies, t.v. shows or books it becomes harder and harder to stay sexually pure. I’m not saying this because I’ve heard it somewhere I’m saying this out of experience.
The other day I was listening to a song my Mint Condition and it brought be right back to my first apartment. I was listening to the song as the person I’d finished having sex with was getting dressed to go back to his house. I got my first apartment in my early twenties but all these years later I’m immediately pulled back into that scene just because of the memory that song evokes. And believe me when I tell you that’s just a sample of the books, music or movies I’ve read, heard or watched that hold some memory for me.
I want my body to a be a living sacrifice for God and the only way for me to do that is to deny my flesh and submit to the will of God. The more I’m able to do this while I’m single the more I’ll be able to do this when I’m married.
For to be carnally minded is death, but to be spiritually minded is life and peace. (Romans 8:6)
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